The Christmas music on the radio got me thinking, appropriately enough, about the Incarnation. I suppose I usually take it for granted that Jesus knew what his purpose in life was from a young age– he certainly had a special knowledge of his father early on (cf. Luke 2: 49)– and was always resolved to complete his mission with only that slight and momentary lapse of courage in Gethsemane. But there’s no reason to think that was the case according to the Bible. Jesus may well have been apprehensive (though obviously determined) about the Cross many years before the event. His prayer in Gethsemane to let that cup pass may be just one recorded instance of an ongoing conversation with his Father.

As I dwelt on that possibility, and on the reality that the divine Jesus was also fully human, with a free will just like ours, not some automaton who did God’s will out of habit, I felt an interesting Christmas emotion. I got angry. Angry that God would send Jesus to earth, utterly alone, and force him to take on the sins of all the hateful, obnoxious people of the world and die for us, especially when Jesus wasn’t even 100% gung-ho about the whole crucifixion thing. Angry that the Father would reject and abandon his own flesh and blood. Why would he pick us over his own Son?
It would be so much more palatable if Jesus didn’t mind being executed. Or if he’d been given an epidural first.
But Jesus had to give us new birth the old-fashioned way. He had to feel the full weight of our burden on his shoulders to know how hard to throw it away. And I believe he had to feel real human emotion about doing it in order for it to be effectual. All the more praise be to God that Jesus was perfectly obedient to his Father’s will even when it wasn’t his preferred course of action. “Not as I will, but as thou wilt.”
I have a feeling I’ll be working on that kind of submission to God’s will for a while.
What wondrous love is this? O my soul, O my soul! What wondrous love is this, O my soul? What wondrous love is this Which caused the Lord of bliss To bear the dreadful curse. For my soul?What wondrous love is this? Which caused the Lord of bliss To bear the dreadful curse, For my soul.





