Birthday Present

Today marks the day I was born, 26 years ago.  It feels pretty old, actually, since I’ve known my best friends for now more than half of my life, and we met in middle school.  But it still looks young on paper.  Perhaps I have more room for growth than I care to admit.

However, today also marks a day long in coming.  Today I got a real teaching job.

As you may remember, I’ve been applying to schools all over the area for almost a year.  Several times I got far into the interview process, only to be cut short at the very last step.

One school (I won’t name names, but it was a Christian school no less) practically told me I had the position, then never called.  When I called weeks later, they reaffirmed that I would probably be hired in the next few days.  Then they never called again.  Taking my hint, I didn’t call again until about a month later (three or four months after the thing started)  to make sure it was settled that I didn’t have the job.

“Oh, so and so called you last week and left a voicemail saying that we hired someone else.”

No, she didn’t.  But whatever. I kept looking elsewhere, but with no luck.

Then we moved up here and I started applying to schools in person.  However, the public schools just fired 35 teachers in my county.  They probably weren’t going to hire a noob like me.

It was starting to get really frustrating.  But in the midst of all this searching, God found big and small ways to remind me that his timing was perfect, and that he had a plan for all this.  He led us to this city, to the church we’ve fallen in love with, and to friends we never thought we’d be so close to so soon.  None of this would have happened if I’d gotten a job in the big city, because we wouldn’t live here.

So in one more episode of providential timing, I decided to call and cancel my appointment for the day on a whim.  Surprisingly, my wife supported the decision.  Because I wasn’t occupied, I was able to take a call yesterday morning, out of the blue, inviting me to a job interview at a boarding school ten minutes from my house.  Teaching English (my dream subject) to high schoolers (my dream students) as a long-term substitute.  Today I found out I have the job.

I start in the next few days.  The substitute gig may only run for the six weeks it’s slated for, or it might go to the end of the school year.  It may even turn into something more permanent.  But even if it doesn’t work out for the long run, there can be no doubt for me that God is working all things to my good, not because of any show of patience or virtue on my part but because of his indelible grace that covers me.

Hearts to God

Not My House

It’s been cold and rainy lately so C and I have been building a lot of fires.  I tried to start one this morning, but I had some trouble.  I did everything right- started with newspaper, graduated to fat lighter, then threw on some scrap pine that usually takes off like a rocket.

No dice today.  Every time the wood would start to smoulder, the fire went out.

I tried again several times, putting my best effort into making this fire work.  I threw some wood shavings on it (surely those would work), blew on the tiny flames just so– I was so frustrated, I even considered resorting to gasoline.

But I decided not to burn the house down.  Instead I ran some errands.

——–

For several months now I’ve been trying to find a career, looking for teaching work anywhere near me, in nearly any capacity.  Each time I’ve found a potential job and begun the interview process, I’ve been led far, far down the road only to meet with disappointment with the end in sight.

Yesterday I received a call that marked the latest in this long string of disappointments.

Now I don’t mean to complain (much).  I’m blessed to have two part-time jobs right now and we’re not in danger of eviction, but it would be nice to work hard at something I also enjoy doing and to do something meaningful.

In a way the flexibility of my current schedule has been great for this time in my life, having just moved, as it’s allowed me to do some work at the house alone and to meet with people during the day.  But I would also like to see my wife one of these evenings.

———

When I got home from my errands I figured I’d give the fire one more go.

I lit a new piece of fat lighter and touched off the newspaper. Up she went like a gas flame.

The wood, damp from the rain, had needed some time to dry out a bit.

I guess that’s where I am.  God needs me to wait until I’m ready–there’s perfection in his timing.  I’m still listening.

The Shakers had a saying that’s been on my mind lately: “Hands to work, hearts to God.”

Company

My good friend Wes came up to stay with us this weekend. We had a great time going to the Foxfire Museum in Mountain City yesterday, since he and I are both nerds about old tools and technology.  Wes got me this old tool for a present:

In case you’re interested, it’s a block plane, used for smoothing end grain wood.  It’s about 80 years old, but still in great condition and totally serviceable.  The only thing that needed fixing was the blade, which needed about 20 years’ worth of sharpening.  The important thing is to carefully scrape away the rust and hone the blade on a coarse stone one stroke at a time (yep, this is about as time-intensive and boring as it sounds).  But if you do it wrong or too quickly you can permanently ruin the blade!

Wes showed me the right way to do it and I took over, but my patience wore thin and I was tempted to just grind it down with the Dremel in place of the whetstone (which I would have done if I were alone, and which of course would have ruined the project).  But the presence of someone who knew how to do what I was attempting, and who’d been there before, was enough to encourage me to see the task through to the end, necessary though toilsome as it was.

I think this is a big part of the reason God gives us Christian fellow-travelers to walk with.  Just being with someone who’s experienced the same struggles and triumphs as oneself can be incredibly encouraging, especially since it’s so tempting to cut corners to get to the fun part.  He sends us out as a band of laborers in the vineyard, or two by two down the road, not as individuals prone to wander and vulnerable to attack.  Although there are patterns and the same course objectives, God teaches each of us on an individualized curriculum.  A high school student at church might have dealt with something a dozen times by the time I encounter it for the first time!  And my perspective on a Bible passage could be  (usually is) totally different from my wife’s insight.  I hope I’m never too proud to learn godliness from anybody.  Praise God for friends.  Praise God for company.

I forgot to remember to forget

While I was driving in the car this morning, I put on an old song by Shaun Groves I haven’t listened to in a while.  Although I used to put that CD on almost every day, and at one point had the words memorized, I drew a total blank after three words!  But next time I commit the words to memory I’m sure I’ll remember them.   This seems to be the case in anything I try to learn: I have to learn something (a fact, song lyrics, a noun declension) and forget it a number of times before it’s really good and in there.  It also seems that the more complex or mysterious the thing is, the more times I have to repeat this process to understand it.

So how many times do I have to learn and forget that I’m covered by grace?  Why do I still, despite how many times I’ve been around this block, wallow in self-pity and despair when I sin?  Will I ever really understand the freedom Christ has won for me?

Maybe we’re still in school, with the Holy Spirit patiently reviewing yesterday’s lesson at the chalkboard.  I can’t wait till I can pass my graduation test.